Along came Love!

I Love You...

For the first few months of any relationship back then was hard for me, I got bored very easy, which sounds harsh I know but until I turned 16 my dad was really strict on where I went and who I saw. I wasn't the easiest daughter do deal with I admit and I was also a daddies girl to boot, so until I went to college I was restricted, or at least I felt like I was. 

Being in college gave me confidence I never felt I had before, I was bullied at school, was never the popular kid and I was fine with that, But college was a whole different ball game for me! Suddenly I was someone everyone wanted to know and even though I have never been the girl who sleeps around I did have a few boyfriends, Not at the same time mind lol, I have never been and never will be "THAT" girl!

But after a month or 2, I was bored, I know now that It was because I hadn't yet met Matt but at the time I just couldn't be with the same person for longer than 2-3 months.

So when I did meet Matt we agreed we were only "seeing" each other ( not serious but not seeing other people). That all changed after 4 days though, he told me he didn't want to be with anyone else and I knew I felt the same, although it was still hard for me to show my feelings.

We couldn't of been more different in the beginning, Matt would hold my hand walking down the street and kiss me in public, this was foreign to me because I was never one to show affection, yet Matt liked to show how much he cared, he liked to show people that we were together and that I was his and he was mine. 💕

It took me a while to get used to it.

Naturally it was Matt who said "I love you" first, and me being my dysfunctional self at the time ruined the moment by telling him I didn't believe him, I know I was awful!, But in my defense I knew I loved him too I just didn't want to get hurt!

I did tell him I love him the next day. 

I remember we were in his flat and he was making me laugh ( I don't remember how) and I looked at him and I knew right there and then that he would make me feel this way forever and I just blurted it out... "I love you" lol, and he just laughed and said I know! 

Starting new...

After being together a few months Matt decided he wanted to move back home to his mom and dads, the YMCA wasn't really the best place to live permanently and thinking back to it now we were only 17, he wasn't  really old enough to be living alone and not yet wise enough to stand on his own 2 feet.

I decided it was time for him to meet my parents and he wanted me to meet his parents. 

 I was nervous about him meeting my dad because as I said before I'm a daddies girl so I didn't think for one second my dad would approve, but I needn't have worried because they both loved him and have done so ever since! My dad and Matt have become very close over the years and I love that!
Meeting Matts parents was just as nerve racking for me for a couple of reasons,
 1, I have never been good with meeting parents, in fact I had only done it once before. 
2, I had been very badly misinformed by 2 of Matts friends that his mom would hate me on site due to the fact that he is an only child and no one would ever be good enough and also because...well, at the time I was loud and didn't care and lets just say I played by my own rules, Of course I had nothing to worry about because his mom and dad were totally welcoming of me and lovely and I have a fantastic relationship with his mom and his dad was one of the most amazing men I ever had the privilege of knowing. 

So Matt decided to take advantage of me meeting his mom and dad and used that time to ask if he could move back home which of course they welcomed him home with open arms. 

Once he moved home he got himself a job and I got myself onto a different course at college for hairdressing and life sort of clicked into place. I was exactly where I knew I wanted to be and with the person I knew I was meant to be with!

Matt...

Our first year together had been amazing, I loved Matt just as much, if not more than I did in the beginning, There is so much to be said about him, I have never known anyone like him. He is the most caring, trustworthy, loyal person I have ever met and I know with every fiber of my being that he loves me fiercely. To look at him you wouldn't think he was very romantic but they say looks can be deceiving and trust me when I say that, where Matt is concerned that's an understatement!

For instance, I was sleeping over at Matts parents one night when Matt found out that I loved four poster beds, I had always wanted one but having to share a room with my sister I never had the room to be able to have one. So Matt created one for me in his room around his large single bed. I turned up at his house and his dad answered the door and told me I wasn't allowed in his room for a while and took me to the living room to keep me busy while Matt was busy lol. About an hour later Matt came out of his room and put his hands over my eyes and took me to his room, and when he removed his hands I couldn't believe what I was seeing, He had attached pretty curtains around his bed to make it look like it had four post's and his room was full of candles and he was playing one of my favorite artists at the time "Wayne Marshall" on his cd player. It was absolutely amazing, and it looked beautiful! That's the sort of person he is!. Another thing he did which may seem small to a lot of you but to me it was everything, When he had been at work all day on a long shift he would get his mom to bring him to visit me for an hour or 2 before he had to go home and go to bed ready for his next shift. It didn't matter that he had been up since 5am and had been at work all day and was totally done in, he would always come and see me even if it was just to say goodnight. He would always always bring me a bar of galaxy chocolate, a can of diet coke and a 10 pack of sovereign cigarettes because he knew they were my favorites lol. Sounds silly I know but that trait in him has never gone away, it doesn't matter how busy he is, he will always make time for me and it doesn't matter whether he has money or not he will always show me how much I mean to him. The one thing we have always said and believed without a shadow of a doubt is that, it doesn't matter if we are rolling in money or in the gutter poor, we will forever be rich because of how much we love and respect each other, and we are even richer now because we have our 2 beautiful children!

Our first valentines day was a big first for me, I had never celebrated valentines day before and if i'm honest it never really bothered me so I wasn't expecting anything special to happen, But Matt told me the day before to meet him at his house on V day and to dress up! So I did and off we went to a fantastic restaurant called Yans, He had booked us a table and everything it was fabulous, you have to remember that we were only 17 at the time, so for a 17 year old lad to do all of these things for you is almost unheard of! We had a fantastic time and just talked and laughed for hours and then we went back to his place and watched a movie. It was the perfect Valentines day!

Its the small things for me that really matter, well at least once I met Matt my view of relationships changed. You see, before I met him I didn't really care to be in love and settled down. I just wanted to have fun with my friends and mess around. Yes I had boyfriends but I didn't really have respect for boys, my experience with other lads wasn't a very positive one if i'm honest. I remember the first boy I really liked was when I was around 14/15 and he was a little older than me and was only interested in one thing and it wasn't my wicked personality, so when I refused to give him what he wanted his interest in me quickly vanished. I had a few similar encounters with boys after that until I went to college and decided that I didn't need to be with a boy to make me feel complete, I have always been a very independent person I learned quite quickly how to take care of me so boys was never really an importance to me and I didn't really have room for them in my life, Until I met Matt and I made room for him..Happily! He taught me that I can still be independent and

not lose myself and still be inlove and BE loved, and it doesn't have to be all about sex. He's not only my partner and lover he is my best friend, my sounding board and my safe harbor, And that to me is more important than material things, so yes its the small things for me that really matter, It's having something amazing happen and looking around and the first person I want to tell about it is Matt, or having a bad day and the only person I want there to hug me and make me feel safe is Him, or even if nothing of consequence has happened, I just want to be with him and enjoy his company!